Sunday, March 27, 2011

Rebuttle

So I will now share my thoughts on the previous post about weighing one's spouse and such. Here's what I think now that I have thought more on the matter and read what others have posted. We do all need to be accountable to someone and for most of us our best friend is our spouse and who better to montior us but our spouse. We do need to take our health more seriously. Heaven knows, I do. And, once again, our spouse should be sharing in our goals. Having said all that, I think that if I were in this woman's situation I would feel that my husband's love was conditional. The act of him insisting on weighing me every morning to monitor and make sure that I meet his criteria for his 'ideal' wife would make me feel as though his love for me was based on that criteria. What if I gain a pound this week. Is he going to love me the same this week? If I gain three pounds will he even want to touch me? Am I suddenly unattractive to him because the scale pronounced me overweight? Do years of memories and children and building a life together hinge on a couple extra pounds? That is how I would feel. Maybe this man and wife feel differently about one another. And I am sensitive about MY weight so this is a sensitive topic for me. On that note, I started to think about the times that I say things or do things that may lead my husband to believe that my love is conditional. Am I any better than this guy weighing his wife. My method of measurement may be different, such as the number of dirty socks laying around the house, but if I am keeping track of it, even in my mind, and pointing out this fault repeatedly to my husband I am just as bad. I do this and I punish him, in my own way. I don't want him EVER feeling like my level of love varies upon how many times he closes the toilet seat or how many socks make it to the hamper. I LOVE YOU SAM!!! UNCONDITIONALLY!!! Just some more food for thought. Thanks for all the comments by the way. This stay at home mom needs more adult discussions.

2 comments:

Cherie and Jeff said...

I cracked up at the very end of the rebuttle when you said FOOD for thought..haha.
I love ya. I don't agree with ANYONE having to be weighed...that is my opinion and I am sticking to it...with what you stated in the first blog post about it, I mean. You don't need someone shoving something in your face all the time to be healthy. Hugs

Danielle said...

Ok so I absolutely love blogging with you!! Well if you shall "have me" that is! haha. So anyway I wanted to say your rebuttle is fantastic. I totally get what you mean about unconditional vs conditional. I mean that husband is obviously dealing with the conditions around him, not the person--his wife. I also totally get what you mean about making conditions of socks, toilet seat, etc. No matter how frustrated we get with the other, we still love them. Just like the weighing thing. The guy that weighs his wife may be annoyed with weight issues, but shouldn't he love her anyway? Ok something else just another "food" for thought. My husband's commander is very into health and eating right along with exercise. I almost wonder if that's what he does? In all honesty, I wouldn't put it past him. His wife has gotten plastic surgeries and such just to keep the image. Does that come with being an officer's wife? I'm just married to an active enlisted man... what does that say of me? Is there a set expectation for me? I keep watching these Army Wives episodes and it makes me wonder. What is expected of a military wife? Is the Christian wife accepted? I also agree that we should have open forums on here for stay at home moms and soon to be ones! YAY!